My boyfriend and I met in high school and began dating the January of our senior year. We were both already set on attending different colleges and since we weren’t too serious, my initial thought was that we would end things come the first semester of college. Then came all the magic of love and our relationship blossomed and my initial thought didn’t quite play out as I thought, and I am ever so grateful! The weekend before we both left home to attend our separate colleges, we made the bold decision to continue our relationship long distance.
Now, the term “long distance relationship” has a terrible connotation for being the impossible! This isn’t exactly true, it’s not that long distance relationships “just don’t work”, it’t that they just don’t work for some people! I was a nonbeliever in long distance relationships before I became a part of one and I find myself even doubting their validity to this day. With my freshman year of college coming to an end I’ve witnessed the rise and fall of many long distance relationships. Some people just aren’t cut out for them. It’s something you definitely have to be honest with yourself about, if you aren’t secure and confident enough in your relationship to accept the terms and conditions that go with being in a LDR then do your self a favor and DON’T DO IT! Part ways, stay on good terms and accept the fact that the timing and the situation just didn’t work in your favor this time.
I’ve had my ups and downs with my relationship, as everyone does, but long distance hasn’t been nearly as much of a nightmare as I thought it would be. Maybe I just got lucky, my boyfriend and I are only 3 hours apart from one another, 223 miles to be exact, and we see each other about once a month. However, I like to think I’ve developed somewhat of a method to how to function in a LDR.
The Terms and Conditions:
- You are in College, school comes first
- Your significant other is in College, school comes first for them as well
- You both have lives outside of your relationship (school, friends, work, etc.) Don’t expect to be the center of attention all the time
- You are going to miss them, no matter how far apart you are.
- You are not going to be able to see them as much as you’d like. Its not realistic.
- You are not going to be able to talk to them as much as you’d like either, again, its just not realistic.
- You may not even talk every minute of the day, or even every day for that matter, don’t immediately assume that means you’re drifting apart
- If skype and love letters through the mail aren’t your style, don’t force it. Try and keep your relationship as unique as it was when you guys weren’t dealing with long distance.
- Stay faithful, ALWAYS. If you meet someone else, always pay your LDR partner the courtesy of a proper breakup instead of cheating and hoping they won’t find out.
- Don’t shut yourself out from the world because you think it will upset your significant other, a relationship shouldn’t tie you down
- Try not to fight, the moments you will get to share together should be celebrated like Christmas! (Or whatever you celebrate)
- Be honest, always tell them the truth because in the end it makes everything easier!
- Be honest with yourself most of all, be brave enough to tell yourself if something about your LDR isn’t working, its something that a lot of people overlook
- Love them, and say it out loud, even when you miss them and are angry and even when you feel like you both must be crazy for daring to do such a silly thing like a LDR, if the love is there then the effort to make it work will arise as well.
Do you accept these terms and conditions?
Now every relationship is different and unfortunately, there isn’t a guide for those of us about to commit ourselves to a LDR, but keep an open mind, its not impossible but it isn’t easy either. I take each day as it comes and I don’t expect things to go as planned. But I am happy in my relationship and my boyfriend and I are still going strong. Keep your faith and all will end well :)